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Indefinitely Wandering



A little over a week ago I left Gainesville, GA.

The weekend found me in Montgomery, AL to celebrate Blair's birthday and hang out with a fourth of H squad, where we enjoyed a party bus limo, corn hole and a ton of food.

Monday night I slept in Dallas, TX with Jen Den only to awake the next morning and have breakfast at Cafe Brazil with Tonya, David Matthew and his brother Cameron.

By Tuesday afternoon Kim, Jenni and I arrived in Oklahoma City to hang out with Cameron and his family for a few days. More amazing food plus live jazz plus Cuppies and Joe and a long list of other things later it is a little sad to leave.

In about two hours we will leave to take Jenni to the airport to head down to Haiti. Kim and I will travel on to spend a little time at IHOP-KC and then on to Indianapolis.

In short I am on an indefinite road trip with Kim (that is until she takes me back to GA). After more prayer and listening (sometimes it happens) it seems Haiti is not where I am meant to be right now.
 
Ukraine is on my radar for July to help with CCX. Honestly no matter where I am or what I am doing that is the only thing that actually makes sense to me and is constantly on my brain.
 
But for the moment it seems I am indefinitely wandering.
 
 
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Happy Birthday Blair



A couple of weeks ago, while suffering at the Hylton home, we celebrated my good friend Kim's birthday. Last week, while serving at the Real Life training camp, several of us celebrated Chiu's birthday (apparently that celebration began a little too early in the day...).
Today about a quarter of H squad convened in Alabama for our friend Blair's birthday.
 
Because today is all about Blair... so is this blog.
 
She is the coolest red head I know, which I guess makes up for the fact that she went to Clemson. She loves Strawberry Shortcake. When she comes into the room she brings fun and joy with her, but is also extremely compassionate and loving. She is really athletic and competitive but not in that annoying way. And I am certain she has the most integrity of anybody I know.
 
In short... I'm obsessed and totally love her.
 
(Her family is pretty awesome too!)
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Camp::Confession::Change::



I lied last week.
 
Throughout life I have been content to take the back seat, to follow loyally, to serve faithfully from behind the scenes. In my opinion, serving is a role too few people joyfully operate in.
 
Last week I declared myself to be a-okay following and that I have no inclination towards leading. "Lead" is kind of like a four letter word.
 
Truthfully in the past several months I have discovered a growing dissatisfaction for hiding out in the background. I am certain it is a holy discontent and one that leaves me trembling.
 
Serving in the shadows is comfortable for me, or it used to be. This week I've been tucked away in the kitchen serving, but I have found that it has left me not being able to build relationships with many of the training camp participants and now that kind of bothers me. It seems I have become an introvert that loves people.
 
So the problem is that while I know what is comfortable for me I seem to crave the uncomfortable now. I don't want to be comfortable because it too easily leads to apathy. I have this sneaky suspicion God isn't too concerned with my comfort either.

 
My heart cries out to impact and influence others for Christ, to be used by God to awaken and equip a generation... or two... and that simply doesn't happen from the shadows.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
*photo from http://www.chromasia.com/images/follow_the_leader_2_b.jpg
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Real Life



Seeing a generation come alive and answer the call of God to "Go!" never gets old.
 
This week I am in Gainesville living in the training center that I loathed so much just over a year ago and helping prepare meals, which should make everyone laugh who knows me and cooking.
 
Four Real Life teams are here for training before heading into three months of ministry in either India, Swaziland or Kenya. They are excited and a little unsure of what they just stepped into. This week is going to be filled with seeing them come to a deeper understand of who they are in Christ and equipping them to go out and bring hope and joy and freedom to those desperate for the love of God.
 
Each one is an answer to a prayer and God is sending them to be His hands and feet. 
 
Oh the adventure that awaits....
 
 

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2 Killers and a Pirate



Triad...
 
in Chemistry... "a group of three closely related compounds or elements, as isomers or halides"
in Music... "a chord of three tones"
in Military... "the three categories of strategic-nuclear-weapons delivery systems: bombers, land-based missiles, and missile-firing submarines
in PSL... "three World Racers brought together by a common Kingdom dream"
 

Jen Denman, Kim Hillebrand and myself - our powers combined created KKP (2 Killers and a Pirate) a.k.a. the arts triad. We met together to pray, to encourage each other and to do a lot of goofing off. It was pretty awesome.

"Though one may be overpowered,
       two can defend themselves.
       A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:12
I'm thankful for the opportunity for our three strands to come together... it is a bond of friendship that will not be quickly broken.
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A Family. An Alpaca. And a Home.



Two weeks ago we arrived at the Hylton's. Immediately there was a sense of peace and joy. Immediately it was home.
 
Jeff and Alycea, along with their children Brittany, Brooks and Bennett have enveloped all of us with love, inviting us not just into their home but into their family.
 
No matter how chaotic it has been throughout the past two weeks I have never seen them upset or flustered. They have an anointing for hospitality that is so amazing it must be from God.

Our time here has been a great blessing, not just for the comfortable beds, southern food and fun quirks (such as Wallace the alpaca who was acquired from Craig's List... proof you can find ANYTHING there!), but because we have had the opportunity to share life with this family.
 
To know them is truly to love them and I must say I am a bit sad to leave.
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Forget Turkish Delight



Over the past two weeks I have acquired a new addiction...
 
Swedish fish - Delightful little red, chewy fish candies that proudly proclaim "fat free" on the bright yellow packaging.
 
 
 
 Forget Turkish delight... try Swedish fish!
 
Thanks for the addiction Kim ; )
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You Can't Do That!



Presently I am reading The Calling by Brother Andrew. During my time on the Race I read his first book, God's Smuggler, which I highly recommend as well.
 
The following passage is one that really struck me as I read it earlier and I wanted to share it with you:
Back in 1953 while I attended the Worldwide Evangelism Crusade (WEC) missionary training school in Glasgow, Scotland, I needed to find a place to go for the Christmas holidays. I couldn't return home to Holland because I had no money, and we weren't allowed to remain on the campus.
I had spent much of the fall semester in bed with a back problem, and I had found solace in the writings of the late Oswald Chambers - especially his classic, My Utmost for His Highest. I had even written to his wife, Biddy, about the blessing I had received. In her reply she had invited me to visit her home in the south of England sometime. So as the Christmas holidays drew near, I phoned her, and she told me I was welcome to stay there. I didn't mention it to anyone; I just went.
When I got back to school in January and sat down at the dinner table with the whole group, Stuart Dinnen, the director, said, "So, where've you been, Andrew?"
I said I had stayed with Oswald Chambers's family.
 
"What?" he said. "You can't do that!"
 
"Maybe not," I replied with a smile, "but I just did it."

How often do others say, "You can't do that"?  Or you personally respond, "I can't do that"?
 
As Brother Andrew points out further on, sometimes a door is closed until you start moving toward it, much like a supermarket door. Our God is a God who can make the impossible possible.
 
 
 
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Wedding Perfection



Saturday held one of the most beautiful, perfect weddings that I have ever attended. Even though outside the weather was windy, rainy and dark, inside the church there was warmth, excitement and the presence of God.

What was so beautiful besides the physical aesthetics of it all?

From the very beginning the focus was on God. It began with worship, ended with worship and all throughout continuously referenced how marriage here on earth is a picture of a greater reality - Jesus and the Church, the ultimate Bride and Bridegroom. It was evident that this marriage was being approached with a holy reverence and fear.

The reception was no less stunning and included a live jazz band. At one point the officiating minister stood up to announce that when the couple was making marriage plans they agreed to set aside a specific amount for each person that attended their wedding and give it to helping feed the children of Haiti. This decision came from the passage in Matthew 22 where the poor were invited to the wedding. This decision also came from a heart that fell in love with the country and its people after a missions trip. So one year later this offering is being given at a time when Haiti needs help the most. That is more than a mere coincidence.

The beauty of yesterday was that while it was definitely about the couple getting married, every part of it pointed to God and His heart. Oh that we would live our entire lives in the same manner.
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Dreaming



With most everyone in my life, even those in my closest circle, I have been vague about my dreams, following behind others and unwilling to consider that my dreams could ever be a possibility.

I apologize. 

Before this week it seemed so all over the place that it neither seemed logical or feasible to even try. Even now I am unsure how to share it.

I dream of a House of Prayer in Kiev, Ukraine where the Lord will be worshiped night and day through prayer, music and the arts.

I dream of a coffeehouse that will be inviting, a place to sell products for organizations that are making a difference, and a place where support groups, Bible studies, etc can meet (and of course AMAZING coffee will be served... none of that Nescafe junk). 

I dream of traveling the world building relationships and sharing the Gospel while also photographing and writing the stories of those I meet. I want to help meet needs and help others meet those needs as well.

For all those who wonder, yes I do dream of one day writing a book.

I dream of having a greeting card line, silly as it may seem. In my dream it comes from being in the place of prayer and worship and is large enough to be able to employ girls that have been rescued from the sex slave trade.

I dream of helping people come to know their identity in Christ, especially those artist types that feel rejected, those who struggle with eating disorders and self-injury, and those in the church. 

I could probably write more, but I think that is sufficient to convey that I have big dreams. Before now I have always just discounted those hopes and dreams, but I can't do that anymore. So maybe I will seem all over the map and from your viewpoint maybe it will seem some decision I make are crazy but I have to follow what I know and I know I will never be your normal, status quo girl. 

Will you dare to dream?
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