The World Race - Stephanie Pridgen

Babi :: Haiti :: What is God up to?

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Babi is a beautiful boy I met in Haiti. When I was there last year, Babi had arrived after extensive flooding left him orphaned. Subsequently he still had a distended belly and was a small, quiet presence.

Babi became one of my shadows, often napping on the porch with me as we sought respite from the early afternoon sun. The day we were set to leave the orphanage, he walked the grounds with the team helping us pray. Part of the time he perched atop my shoulders smiling and the rest of the time he held tightly to my hand as we journeyed side by side. As I boarded the van to leave, Babi peeked around the corner reaching for me one last time with tears in his eyes.

Babi has experienced great tragedy and loss in his young life, but thanks to Cambry he has also experienced hope.

Two months ago another natural disaster hit Haiti, this time shaking it to its core and leaving behind many, young and old alike, who have experienced tragedy and great loss.

But there is hope!

Reports have returned of a major shift in the spiritual atmosphere of this country long recognized as a spiritually dark place. What the enemy planned for evil God is using to bring repentance, renewal and revival.

For the next two months I will be returning to Haiti. My role is different this time and I am both excited and a little nervous. I will be working with AIM doing media, mostly writing, in an effort to effectively communicate what is happening and tell the stories of the people. My other role will be to assist the Project Leaders, helping to mentor and bringing support to the leadership there.

It is truly an amazing opportunity, a crazy door that just seemed to open right and front of me and be perfect. To be able to go forward though I need your support, both prayerfully and financially. For two months on the ground I need $1000 total to cover my costs, plus I need money for my plane ticket and insurance (an additional $500-$600).

If you would like to support me, you can go to the Haiti Relief page and type my name "Stephanie Pridgen" in the note/memo section. If you would rather snail mail a check, please send it to Adventures in Missions, PO Box 534470, Atlanta, GA 30353-4470 with "Haiti - Stephanie Pridge" in the memo. If you aren't worried about a donation being tax deductible and would like to help with my airfare and insurance costs, you can shoot me an email.

Thank you all for the support you have given me since the beginning of this crazy journey. I am excited about the opportunity to work on my writing skills in a way that will help those in need and also to come alongside the leadership in Haiti as they diligently work to properly respond to the Haiti crisis.

inductive studies::hot tea:: an invitation

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

After a week of sickness that included missing out on a movie night and the one event I was excited about, PhotoQuest, I simply could not stand being in our one room apartment any longer. My teammate Amanda, also couped up because of a twisted ankle, and I jumped at the opportunity to get out. The others didn't protest since it would mean much needed rest for them as well. Win, win, win situation!

That was the night I met Galia, an energetic, fun, intelligent, compassionate, extreme sports kind of girl, who, unbeknownst to either of us, would become one of my favorite new friends from my year abroad.

It was also the evening I first had the opportunity to spend time with Julie, see her love and passion for the students whom she works among, and who would become another new favorite friend with her love of sunshine and her plans for an army of small people that will take over the world.

It was a pleasant evening filled with hot tea, a cozy atmosphere and an inductive study of a passage from Luke.

The inductive method gives everyone a chance to read through the passage and make observations of the details that stand out to the person individually and an opportunity to see what questions it brings up before approaching the passage as a group. This way the processors, like me, have a few quiet moments to formulate thoughts and questions. It also assures that everyone has a chance to contribute and learn to study the Bible. At the end each member takes a few moments to come up with what he/she sees as an application from the passage. Plus colored pencils are involved! In short, I am a big fan.

After tackling Luke we enjoyed some light-hearted fellowship.

During our discussions the topic of food surfaced, as it so often does. When questioned about the best place to try borscht Galia proposed that her home was the tastiest place in Kiev. Further discussions led to me and Amanda trying to find somewhere to do laundry when again Galia piped up with the answer and came to our rescue. Her proposal? Laundry at her home later in the week after having some nice home made borscht for supper.

And so my love for Ukraine began with an inductive Bible study, hot tea, and an invitation...

Waiting

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

It is hard to believe that it was three months ago that my feet again found themselves treading American soil.

Three months.

One-fourth of a year.

Now I sit staring at feathery flakes falling from the sky willing the sun to shine and spring to arrive. I find myself waiting for this winter season to pass. It is beautiful but it is cold and gray.

It isn't just winter outside, but in my own journey as well. Life still seems upside down and backwards, but it is only a season and God has been more than faithful.

My western mindset tells me that it is time to settle down, have a career but God continues to whisper, "Trust me. Wait."

I move forward in the direction God has already spoken, planning a return to Ukraine. In the midst of these preparations I am waiting.

Waiting for the flowers to appear.

Waiting for the jubilant colors of spring.

Waiting... Hoping... Trusting... Believing...

Spring is coming.

Marshrutka Mayhem

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

To fully understand my time in Kyiv allow me to introduce you to the marshrutka and the low light of my day.

The queue for the 215 begins near the metro stop, under the bridge, a few feet from a trash can and by a man hole cover on the sidewalk. It is important to know where the marshrutka you need stops so you can join the right line and hopefully catch the next one that comes along. They arrive roughly every 15 minutes, beginning early in the morning and stopping service around 9:00... 9:30.... 10:00 p.m. or basically whenever they get tired of running for the day.

This form of public transportation is like van/taxi/mini-bus with cheap fare, around $.25 one way. There are three number 215 marshrutkas that take turns running the route: one goes to the metro, one returns from the metro, and one sits in the cul-de-sac and waits for the returning van; and so they cycle. These marshrutkas consists of 13 to 15 seats, depending on which particular one you get and the size of the passengers aboard. The fun begins when you are not one of the lucky ones to procure a place to sit because as long as there is still room, any room at all, people will still get on.

I remember one ride in particular that required some recovery time.

We joined the queue much to my dismay further back than desired, meaning we would have to stand. We seemed to hit rush hour as more and more people piled in. I was pushed into an awkward position in the middle of the vehicle. Not only were there many more people on board than common sense should allow but many of these people had personal items - bags, groceries, etc. - which were also brought on board. I quickly lost my ability to position my feet into a stance where I could balance instead leaving my upright position in the hands of my non-muscular arms.

One would think because of the crowd that falling would be impossible, but not so. To my left were the people I envied the most, those who were seated, and it was all I could do to not land in some poor, unsuspecting Ukrainian's lap. My right hand was behind the back of the person beside me and barely grasping the edge of a seat while my left arm held onto the handle for a vent in the ceiling.

At the first stop some crazy person opened the door, looked in and decided that of course there was room for them too. I cursed my short stature as I lost my ability to freely breathe when the guy in front of me was pushed back, forcing my face into his spine and painfully extending my arm.

I held my breath and prayed as the marshrutka wove in and out of traffic and mercilessly made sharp turns. I knew that if I released my arm from the vent handle I could never maintain my fragile balancing act. I also knew there would be nowhere for me to put my arm since trying to bring it down would inevitably hit about three people in its decent.

A few more stops and a couple of people exited. Still my feet could not move and my arm began turning into a useless appendage.

I am sure it was only ten minutes or so but it seemed to last a lifetime. Finally a seat opened up. I fell into it cursing public transportation beneath my breath. My arm made it out unscathed except a plaguing soreness that hung around for a couple of days.

That was the worst of my marshrutka adventures but certainly not the last.

Shy and Quiet?

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

"I am the shy, quiet member of the team."

That is how I remember introducing myself to our contacts.

Still feeling under the weather, nonetheless I chose to attend this initial meeting, partially to hear details first-hand and partially just tired of lying in a sleeping bag staring up at the starless ceiling.

Finding a place on the cream colored couch that forbade completely sitting back in comfort and still having the ability to touch my toes to the floor, I relaxed. On my left stood the office library of which I had already perused, critiqued and mentally listed books of interest.

The staff members were sitting in the middle of the room around a small conference table discussing with us various upcoming events and opportunities. It was your typical "let's make sure we are all on the same page" type meeting that briefly sent me into a collage-style flashback of my past three and half years in the church office.

Snapping out of my reverie I forced myself to focus.

Our ministry for the month would be working with students through CCX (pronounced S-S-ha), a Christian student organization on university campuses, a sister organization to InterVarsity in the States. The English Department serves students who are studying English, giving them chances to interact with native English speakers and offering opportunities to develop skills that will be helpful in their future.

Manna would be assisting weekly English clubs, movie nights, class visits, events such as Photo Quest, and basically anything else that might be needed during the course of our stay.

All seven of us would not be needed at everything and I was secretly hoping to fade into the background by helping with office work and movie nights, leaving English clubs and large crowds to my more relational, extroverted teammates. As much as I found the CCX staff quite likeable, this type of ministry just was not shaping up to be my cup of tea.

Comparatively speaking it was true, but it became a statement others would later bring to my remembrance with a smirk that said "Really?!?!"...

"I am the shy, quiet member of the team."

It began as a blur...

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

The air was thick, stifling and laced with the smell of body odor. Sweat ran down my neck and the corridor seemed to narrow as the weight of my pack gave in to gravity and let itself hang from my tired shoulders.

After much confusion over numbering, my space for the evening was procured - a curtainless, few feet of "bed" that looked like nothing more than a precarious shelf from which I fully expected to fall from in the middle of the night.

As luck would have it my placement was right next to the door for the restroom, a door much in need of WD-40 as it whined then slammed with every usage.

To top it all off, my throat protested every swallow, my head pounded like a stampede of wild horses and my sinuses refused the passage of air.

The rocking motion of the train finally lulled me to sleep, a lulling that would happen a dozen or more times throughout the night as restroom goers, coughing fits and border guards disturbed my not so peaceful slumber.

By the time we arrived, I wanted nothing more than to die, or at least to just go home. We were entering month ten and frankly I decided I'd had enough.

After more miserable travel to the place we would be staying for a few days, an old sanitorium on the outskirts of the city, I reached a bed and crashed. Despite layers of clothing and bedding I awoke hours later chilled, feverish and jumping up to quickly locate a trash can.

The first few days were nothing but a blur as I tried to fight whatever had claimed my body, rising from bed only to use the restroom, which is a rather miserable affair when you have no energy and are forced to use a squatty.

I managed to miss the orientation for Ukraine. Regardless I would have had no idea what I was getting into even if I had made it...

Powdery pondering

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Clearing a spot I sat down on a frigid, metal bench in a buried garden beneath an evergreen, its branches laden with white. In silence I watched as powdery flakes fell from the heavens, some brushing my exposed cheeks with a cold, wintry kiss. Freezing, yet strangely content, I pondered.

In the spring, rain showers water the ground encouraging growth. Summertime thunderstorms bring relief from the heat, even if briefly, and bring hope to the dry, parched earth.

The ocean inspires awe and wonder at the life it contains, its power and its enormity. Rivers flow bringing refreshment, renewal and a place to sate your thirst. Lakes and ponds provide a safe haven to wildlife and also a great place to sit with a few wriggling worms, a fishing pole and bare feet.

Then there is winter, where water crystalizes. Whether in the form of ice or snow, it is cold and can be rugged. Yet there is a profound beauty in this wintry harshness as it covers all that is dirty and ugly, leaving behind fresh layers that sparkle and shine in the light making all things seem new. It is in this wonderland that our senses both yearn for and repel what is before them.

It seems to me the work of the Holy Spirit is much the same way. Sometimes He comes to us gently to refresh our weary souls. Other times He comes like a wave of power.

Then there are times when the Spirit comes and it is beautiful but goes against our comfort. His handiwork is both alluring and seemingly dangerous.

Will we choose to watch the Spirit fall from the comfort of our warm home or brave the uncomfortable for a touch of His hand and discover the wonder that lies therein?

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
Isaiah 55:9-11

Blue and Yellow

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

All it takes is the colors blue and yellow to immediately take me back. . .

The police interrogation, the random street guy backhanding me, the miserable rush hour public transportation are not the first things I think of, though they make for great stories.

Instead the arm in arm strolls with newly made friends, the conversation over tea/coffee, the excitement of God opening new doors for ministry and the smell of fresh flowers for sell in every metro station are what rush into my mind and instantly bring a smile to my lips.

I don't know what happened exactly in Ukraine, when it became a love affair. I entered its borders tired, sick, miserable and ready for home. We were headed to a big city with a strange language full of funny characters, cold weather, and a ministry based around teaching English to university students. I expected to hate it.

Somehow it changed, or maybe God changed me, and by the time our last day came I was broken at the thought of leaving and sobbed more than I had all year.

Before October I was mostly excited about being part of the worship team heading to Berlin for the last month of the Race, but by the time it arrived I wanted nothing more than to be left in Kiev. I loved Berlin, our contacts, our ministry and hope to return there as well one day, but even as we crossed into Germany a part of me stayed behind in Ukraine.

I still cannot explain it but that country has not left my thoughts or prayers since, so this week I made a commitment. (If you don't know, I'm of the non-committal type.) The deadline still looms in the distance but in my heart I knew it was time.

In June I will board a plane back to the country I fell in love with. I will return to work with CCX, the ministry Team Manna was with during our stay in Kiev, and will be part of the staff for their summer English camp. This year the theme is "Identity." It is an option that was presented to me before I left Ukraine and was hopefully written into my 2010 calendar as soon as it was purchased. My heart leaps at the thought of being in Kiev again and it is the only choice that makes any sense in my life right now.

For now I'm asking for your prayers as plans are made to get me there. This time there isn't someone else creating my itinerary, searching for the best deals, taking care of logistics and things... nope this time that's my responsibility because this time I'll be traveling alone. It's kind of an odd thought.

I hope in the next couple of weeks to nail down more specifics and share with you what I will be doing and how you can help me do what God has placed on my heart. It is also my goal to share with you more of my memories from the land I love, since I realized that I didn't really write about that month in my blogs because I was too busy being a social butterfly.

You all have been amazingly supportive over the past year and a half and I feel I have not said "Thank you" enough for your prayers, encouragement and support. Please know they don't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Sick of Church

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I'm sick of church.

I'm tired of the "bless me Lord" meetings we endorse, where we gather to sit back and gluttonously devour the blessings of God and then sit and become fat and lazy instead of sharing those blessings with others. I loathe our pompous attitude that says we are better than the "sinner" on the street, forgetting it is by grace we are saved. I have had my fill of Christians hiding behind the four walls of the church and trying to make Christianity look cool, appealing, and politically correct while hoping to attract those who are not yet saved and hoping to not have to actually come into contact with them until they are.

When will we understand it is not about us and our comfort? It is not about our awe-inspiring programs. It is not about our talented musicians with trendy hair. It is not about our well-crafted sermons. And it is certainly not about our beautiful white washed tombs we call churches.

Pardon my harshness today. I am not trying to come across judgmental, intolerant, or whatever you will say I am for writing this, but we have fooled ourselves too long.

Worship is not a show on Sunday morning to entertain us and make us feel good enough to get through another week - a Bon Jovi concert and a few shots of espresso can manage that.

Evangelism isn't for the special elect dubbed the evangelists in the body of Christ, it is certainly a gifting but the responsibility of sharing Christ rests on all our shoulders.

Pastoring does not mean that you micro-manage everything in the church, it means you shepherd and guide and lay down your life for the good of the congregation.

Community does not mean that decisions are based on how I feel, what I want, or what will make me more comfortable and happy; it means decisions are based on the good of all involved, personal agendas are set aside and people are taken care of and the members have all things in common so no one is in lack. (Acts 4)

What if we spent less time and money being technologically advanced, programed and cutting edge and spent more time being real, loving the hurting (inside and outside the church walls) and making disciples who are actually empowered to go into all the world and share the good news of Christ?

What if we stopped just reading the Bible and started living it?

What if we loved?

Then we wouldn't need a great band, sweet stage and awesome program to attract people to us, they would come simply because there is power in the Gospel.

Indefinitely Wandering

Sat, 6 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

A little over a week ago I left Gainesville, GA.

The weekend found me in Montgomery, AL to celebrate Blair's birthday and hang out with a fourth of H squad, where we enjoyed a party bus limo, corn hole and a ton of food.

Monday night I slept in Dallas, TX with Jen Den only to awake the next morning and have breakfast at Cafe Brazil with Tonya, David Matthew and his brother Cameron.

By Tuesday afternoon Kim, Jenni and I arrived in Oklahoma City to hang out with Cameron and his family for a few days. More amazing food plus live jazz plus Cuppies and Joe and a long list of other things later it is a little sad to leave.

In about two hours we will leave to take Jenni to the airport to head down to Haiti. Kim and I will travel on to spend a little time at IHOP-KC and then on to Indianapolis.

In short I am on an indefinite road trip with Kim (that is until she takes me back to GA). After more prayer and listening (sometimes it happens) it seems Haiti is not where I am meant to be right now.

Ukraine is on my radar for July to help with CCX. Honestly no matter where I am or what I am doing that is the only thing that actually makes sense to me and is constantly on my brain.

But for the moment it seems I am indefinitely wandering.

Happy Birthday Blair

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

A couple of weeks ago, while suffering at the Hylton home, we celebrated my good friend Kim's birthday. Last week, while serving at the Real Life training camp, several of us celebrated Chiu's birthday (apparently that celebration began a little too early in the day...).

Today about a quarter of H squad convened in Alabama for our friend Blair's birthday.

Because today is all about Blair... so is this blog.

She is the coolest red head I know, which I guess makes up for the fact that she went to Clemson. She loves Strawberry Shortcake. When she comes into the room she brings fun and joy with her, but is also extremely compassionate and loving. She is really athletic and competitive but not in that annoying way. And I am certain she has the most integrity of anybody I know.

In short... I'm obsessed and totally love her.

(Her family is pretty awesome too!)

Camp::Confession::Change::

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I lied last week.

Throughout life I have been content to take the back seat, to follow loyally, to serve faithfully from behind the scenes. In my opinion, serving is a role too few people joyfully operate in.

Last week I declared myself to be a-okay following and that I have no inclination towards leading. "Lead" is kind of like a four letter word.

Truthfully in the past several months I have discovered a growing dissatisfaction for hiding out in the background. I am certain it is a holy discontent and one that leaves me trembling.

Serving in the shadows is comfortable for me, or it used to be. This week I've been tucked away in the kitchen serving, but I have found that it has left me not being able to build relationships with many of the training camp participants and now that kind of bothers me. It seems I have become an introvert that loves people.

So the problem is that while I know what is comfortable for me I seem to crave the uncomfortable now. I don't want to be comfortable because it too easily leads to apathy. I have this sneaky suspicion God isn't too concerned with my comfort either.

My heart cries out to impact and influence others for Christ, to be used by God to awaken and equip a generation... or two... and that simply doesn't happen from the shadows.

*photo from http://www.chromasia.com/images/follow_the_leader_2_b.jpg

Real Life

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Seeing a generation come alive and answer the call of God to "Go!" never gets old.

This week I am in Gainesville living in the training center that I loathed so much just over a year ago and helping prepare meals, which should make everyone laugh who knows me and cooking.

Four Real Life teams are here for training before heading into three months of ministry in either India, Swaziland or Kenya. They are excited and a little unsure of what they just stepped into. This week is going to be filled with seeing them come to a deeper understand of who they are in Christ and equipping them to go out and bring hope and joy and freedom to those desperate for the love of God.

Each one is an answer to a prayer and God is sending them to be His hands and feet.

Oh the adventure that awaits....

2 Killers and a Pirate

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Triad...

in Chemistry... "a group of three closely related compounds or elements, as isomers or halides"
in Music... "a chord of three tones"
in Military... "the three categories of strategic-nuclear-weapons delivery systems: bombers, land-based missiles, and missile-firing submarines

in PSL... "three World Racers brought together by a common Kingdom dream"

Jen Denman, Kim Hillebrand and myself - our powers combined created KKP (2 Killers and a Pirate) a.k.a. the arts triad. We met together to pray, to encourage each other and to do a lot of goofing off. It was pretty awesome.

"Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:12

I'm thankful for the opportunity for our three strands to come together... it is a bond of friendship that will not be quickly broken.

A Family. An Alpaca. And a Home.

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Two weeks ago we arrived at the Hylton's. Immediately there was a sense of peace and joy. Immediately it was home.

Jeff and Alycea, along with their children Brittany, Brooks and Bennett have enveloped all of us with love, inviting us not just into their home but into their family.

No matter how chaotic it has been throughout the past two weeks I have never seen them upset or flustered. They have an anointing for hospitality that is so amazing it must be from God.

Our time here has been a great blessing, not just for the comfortable beds, southern food and fun quirks (such as Wallace the alpaca who was acquired from Craig's List... proof you can find ANYTHING there!), but because we have had the opportunity to share life with this family.

To know them is truly to love them and I must say I am a bit sad to leave.

Forget Turkish Delight

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Over the past two weeks I have acquired a new addiction...

Swedish fish - Delightful little red, chewy fish candies that proudly proclaim "fat free" on the bright yellow packaging.

Forget Turkish delight... try Swedish fish!

Thanks for the addiction Kim ; )

You Can't Do That!

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Presently I am reading The Calling by Brother Andrew. During my time on the Race I read his first book, God's Smuggler, which I highly recommend as well.

The following passage is one that really struck me as I read it earlier and I wanted to share it with you:

Back in 1953 while I attended the Worldwide Evangelism Crusade (WEC) missionary training school in Glasgow, Scotland, I needed to find a place to go for the Christmas holidays. I couldn't return home to Holland because I had no money, and we weren't allowed to remain on the campus.

I had spent much of the fall semester in bed with a back problem, and I had found solace in the writings of the late Oswald Chambers - especially his classic, My Utmost for His Highest. I had even written to his wife, Biddy, about the blessing I had received. In her reply she had invited me to visit her home in the south of England sometime. So as the Christmas holidays drew near, I phoned her, and she told me I was welcome to stay there. I didn't mention it to anyone; I just went.

When I got back to school in January and sat down at the dinner table with the whole group, Stuart Dinnen, the director, said, "So, where've you been, Andrew?"

I said I had stayed with Oswald Chambers's family.

"What?" he said. "You can't do that!"

"Maybe not," I replied with a smile, "but I just did it."

How often do others say, "You can't do that"? Or you personally respond, "I can't do that"?

As Brother Andrew points out further on, sometimes a door is closed until you start moving toward it, much like a supermarket door. Our God is a God who can make the impossible possible.

Wedding Perfection

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Saturday held one of the most beautiful, perfect weddings that I have ever attended. Even though outside the weather was windy, rainy and dark, inside the church there was warmth, excitement and the presence of God.

What was so beautiful besides the physical aesthetics of it all?

From the very beginning the focus was on God. It began with worship, ended with worship and all throughout continuously referenced how marriage here on earth is a picture of a greater reality - Jesus and the Church, the ultimate Bride and Bridegroom. It was evident that this marriage was being approached with a holy reverence and fear.

The reception was no less stunning and included a live jazz band. At one point the officiating minister stood up to announce that when the couple was making marriage plans they agreed to set aside a specific amount for each person that attended their wedding and give it to helping feed the children of Haiti. This decision came from the passage in Matthew 22 where the poor were invited to the wedding. This decision also came from a heart that fell in love with the country and its people after a missions trip. So one year later this offering is being given at a time when Haiti needs help the most. That is more than a mere coincidence.

The beauty of yesterday was that while it was definitely about the couple getting married, every part of it pointed to God and His heart. Oh that we would live our entire lives in the same manner.

Dreaming

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

With most everyone in my life, even those in my closest circle, I have been vague about my dreams, following behind others and unwilling to consider that my dreams could ever be a possibility.

I apologize.

Before this week it seemed so all over the place that it neither seemed logical or feasible to even try. Even now I am unsure how to share it.

I dream of a House of Prayer in Kiev, Ukraine where the Lord will be worshiped night and day through prayer, music and the arts.

I dream of a coffeehouse that will be inviting, a place to sell products for organizations that are making a difference, and a place where support groups, Bible studies, etc can meet (and of course AMAZING coffee will be served... none of that Nescafe junk).

I dream of traveling the world building relationships and sharing the Gospel while also photographing and writing the stories of those I meet. I want to help meet needs and help others meet those needs as well.

For all those who wonder, yes I do dream of one day writing a book.

I dream of having a greeting card line, silly as it may seem. In my dream it comes from being in the place of prayer and worship and is large enough to be able to employ girls that have been rescued from the sex slave trade.

I dream of helping people come to know their identity in Christ, especially those artist types that feel rejected, those who struggle with eating disorders and self-injury, and those in the church.

I could probably write more, but I think that is sufficient to convey that I have big dreams. Before now I have always just discounted those hopes and dreams, but I can't do that anymore. So maybe I will seem all over the map and from your viewpoint maybe it will seem some decision I make are crazy but I have to follow what I know and I know I will never be your normal, status quo girl.

Will you dare to dream?

Holding Hands With A Gorilla

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Picture a young child, say five, walking down a dirt path and grinning from ear to ear. Held tight in one tiny hand is a single, giant, furry finger attached to a towering gorilla. The child smiles brightly and walks confidently believing he is leading this mighty creature.

"We're not bringing Kingdom," Benny announced during worship.

Wait...

What?!

So often we are like the child so proud and eager to be bringing along something so amazing to share with everyone. We walk in wide-eyed wonderment feeling good about our abilities to lead and take control.

But really...

God is already moving all over the earth. His Kingdom is happening. Many times we think we have a form of controlling it when really we are just hanging on to the one who is in control.

We're not bringing Kingdom...

But we are partnering with the One who is.

Mark Almand is my HERO!

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Planning... I think we have sufficiently discovered and expressed that it is not my cup of tea. A quote by E.B. White sums it up well for me, "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."

Then this wonderful tool was presented to me for determining which avenue to pursue.

It is really simple: experiment, chase, program.

The experiment phase lets you take something on a small scale and try it out to see if it is worth pursuing. The chase phase is where you take it more in depth and pursue it to see if it will work. If you find it will actually work then you program it, implement it.

Light bulb moment.

It was so refreshing because I did not need to plan out and have a final result, just a step for determining if this is even worth working toward. Experiments give you freedom to fail because that is the nature of an experiment, you usually fail a lot before you figure out the formula that works.

Of course my breath of fresh air was sucked from my lungs as we went into time management later in the afternoon.

Then enter this morning, another day of planning. My venture I decided to map out will make several of you happy... the steps to writing a book.

Ditching the boxed, formulaic approaches that make me squirm and protest at rigidity and sends my blood pressure soaring, I decided to do an artsy, crazy approach that probably no one but me would be able to actually look at and understand.

Mark walked over and asked how I was doing and I am pretty certain a gave a bit of a "Help me, I'm dying look" before admitting I was stuck. He took one look at my planning experiment and commented on my colors and shapes and arrows that filled the page before me. As I tried to translate the jumble in my head into words someone other than me could follow I was THRILLED when he understood me and within five minutes at a white board between sessions we had determined my next few steps in my writing process.

That only took me the last three days! It excited me and put me on a roll and by the end of today I had "mapped out" my kingdom dream, realizing the connections I couldn't see before.

So that is the brief story of how Mark Almand became my hero.

The Earth Shakes and A Response

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

While pictures are released and reports continue to bombard us with heartbreaking information and stories from a devastated nation it is hard to believe that just 11 months ago we were there working. How vividly I remember the palpable darkness and the heaviness of a nation so immersed in voodoo and ravaged by natural disasters and the poverty and disease arising from these.

As easily as I can recall with all of my senses those moments there are others that reach out to me and remind me how precious Haiti is. The children we worked with held their own worship services in the evening, full of singing, dancing and a joy I had never experienced before. A handful of these children reached for my hand and grabbed my heart in the process.

Every night we stayed in Les Cayes we prayed on a hill overlooking the land and proclaimed the love of God and His promises for this nation, calling it out of darkness and into the marvelous light of Christ. Once again I find myself voicing these promises and declaring hope over Haiti.

Haiti needs people who can and will go but also people who can and will give.

Give to the Haiti Earthquake Relief fund

AIM is mobilizing teams in the aftermath of this devastating earthquake.

AIM Dominican Republic base director Miguel and Kristen Shaul live about four hours from Port-au-Prince and are coordinating immediate relief efforts. There are also alumni from the AIM World Race program traveling to Haiti soon to help prepare for short-term teams. Our mission teams have been to Haiti, have fallen in love with the people there, and are very anxious to help. See Ashley Musick's blog for an example of one broken heart for Haiti.

Donations go to earthquake relief efforts.

Our primary goal is to bring first-response relief to those in need with supplies such as food, blankets, shelters, basic health care, and more. Our secondary goal is to identify communities in which we can get involved in long-term rebuilding. We ask for prayers for God's favor in leading our efforts and for partnership in funding this response.

Click HERE to donate now! They need your help.

Adventures In Missions is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization with the Internal Revenue Service.
Gifts may be 100% tax-deductible; please consult a tax advisor

Here are a list of telephone numbers that can direct you to many other ways to give as well.

You may want to make a donation, send supplies and/or partner with another non-profit working in Haiti. Here is our list of organizations from the GNI Data Base. Obviously our list is incomplete. I am sure there are many other organizations besides those listed that are working in Haiti. We may be sending out another similar email to this one. If you work in Haiti and would like to be added to this list just send us your name and email.

Agape Flights - 941/488-0990
Children's Medical Missions of Haiti - 201/506-5649
Colorado Haiti Project - 303/938-0163
Community Coalition for Haiti - 703/880-4160
Crossworlds - (610)667-7660
Evangelical Lutheran Church of Haiti - 615/478-6773
For Haiti with Love Inc. - 727/938-3245
Foundation for Children of Haiti - 011/509-510-4720
Good Shepherd Ministries - 321/752-0072
HAFF (Haitian Friendship Foundation) - 239/565-1196
Haiti Charity Hope Foundation - 401/723-3404
Haiti Medical Mission - 701/241-5317
Haiti Medical Missions of Memphis - 901/761-9097
Haiti Medical Teams International - 509/966-5422
Haiti Outreach Ministries - 800/231-9462
Haiti Vision & Services - 405/478-5743
Haitian Christian Outreach - 217/778-6023
Haitian Health Foundation - 860/886-4357
Harvest Foundations - (602)258-1083
Healing Hands for Haiti - 866/482-0763
Hopital Albert Schweitzer - (412)361-5200
Love a Child Ministries - 813/621-7263
New Life Advance International - 011/509/246-3009
Northwest Haiti Christian Mission - 214/554-3218
Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos, Haiti - 312/386-7499
St. Boniface Haiti Foundation - 781/963-7243
Vision of Hope Ministries - 954/928-3704

Perspectives of a Meltdown

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

There is a thin sheet of ice from the shore to the dock, like a thin, grey cloud fell from heaven and settled only to become frozen in place.

Long evening shadows crisscross the yard and my exposed fingers protest the wintry chill.

Georgia red clay and evergreens alongside a few various naked trunks and limbs reflect off the water creating a dark and hazy portrait of what is reality. Kind of the way all my dreams seem, a little dark and hazy, a bit of reality but from a distance all melding together to create undistinguishable lines with a beauty entirely their own but not quite concrete.

A gaggle of geese are noisily voicing their suggestions and arguing amongst each other. A few of its members break away to laugh and enjoy their sport of leapfrogging one another and then skimming and skidding to a stop atop their liquid playground.

Across the lawn, fragile, silver spider's webs shimmer and glisten in the dying light and I wonder at building in such a vulnerable, exposed place.

And as I sink to the earth a deep sigh escapes from my throat and the torrent of tears that have threatened for hours are released.

Finally the sobs subside and I sit drinking in the peaceful nature that surrounds me before being driven in by my still protesting fingers now joined by my nose and toes.

In the midst of my minor emotional meltdown, call it a personality flaw, I realized that who I see me as and who others see me as is vastly different. When it comes down to it I have managed to create my own stress by my own soaring expectations. It is a pattern in my life, one that I intend to see broken.

The best perspective came from my ever loving and ever faithful friend Kim Hillebrand who looked me in the eyes and said, "You're telling me that you made it through training camp, survived a year around the world with a bunch of people you wanted to knife and you're going to let a free two week program with goal setting and time management take you out? Seriously?!"

Well when you put it that way...

Just Being Honest

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Should I entertain you?

We could discuss the chaos and fun that comes with community. Stories of movies, games and those random moments that can never quite be recreated but cause everyone to laugh until their sides and cheeks hurt and they cannot breathe. I love those moments.

Or maybe I could inform you?

Today was all about goal setting, which to me is sort of a tool for cruelty and torture. In all reality though it is important and we learned the SMART method for goal setting. Maybe I'll share it with you later too.

Or maybe I should just be open and honest with where I am?

"Part of me wonders why I am here in a room filled with leaders, visionaries, dreamers... world changers. I see it in each of them - lives transformed by the power of Christ going out and seeing others transformed. Purpose. Passion.

"Who am I kidding? I'm a follower, a worker, a helper. I don't lead people. Instead I run from them, close them off, keep them at arm's length. I cower in obedience and just pray not to disappoint.

"I don't know how to be the person you need me to be. Yet like a moth drawn to the flame I fly, reaching for things that were never meant to be mine. I know it will cost it all and I don't know that I give it."

That's a glimpse inside my head. I'm sure you will argue with me that it is all lies and try to persuade me I'm wrong. I'm also sure you're right. That's the old me, who I once was, but right now it sure seems to still be me and honestly I'm having a hard time shaking that. It's okay though. I will go to bed in a few minutes and in a few hours rise to face another day. It will be challenging and stretching and that will be okay too.

A Modern Day Crisis

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Ukraine.

Thailand.

Atlanta, Georgia.

What do these three places have in common?

All special places where I have left a part of my heart.

What else?

They are all some of the top places for the trafficking of humans for the purpose of sex.

Today is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day and I want you to be aware of the enormity of this crisis.

"There are more than 27 million slaves in the world today. More than at the height of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade." (http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/about/slavery/)

Part of my heart is seeing this changed.

Below is about a 5 minute video on modern day slavery. It's pretty hard to watch but worth a few minutes to get the bigger picture.

Butterfly Wings and Whispers

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

"Does the flap of a butterfly's wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?" is a concept made popular by scientist Edward Lorenz. It references a theory that small, seemingly insignificant changes contribute to the initial conditions and those tiny changes may, in fact, alter the course of a tornado elsewhere. The flapping wing does not cause the tornado, in the sense that it does not create that much energy; however without the flapping the initial conditions would be changed and the tornado may not exist.

Can a whisper spoken in Georgia set off a movement that changes the lives of people around the world?

Yesterday as we dialogued about finding your voice. Some people see the world's needs, have great passion, have the skills they need for that passion, and have their head wrapped around a plan to accomplish meeting those needs. The result is a large "voice". Most of us do not have all of that accomplished and figured out. So we are at Project Searchlight, taking the next step after a year of seeing needs and discovering passions then returning to the, "Now what?"

As we worked on our matrix I admit a bit of frustration. I recognize and feel strongly about several needs, my passions are extremely varied and I have been unable to see how to bring it together to begin looking into the needed skills and plans. This voice seems a little small.

However if you look at it from the butterfly effect perspective, even a whisper can create significant changes. Add to that the knowledge that in the hands of our God small things can exponentially multiply (the widow's oil, the loves and fishes, the number of believers...) and the potential results is astounding.

So until that voice grows, which it will, there will be whispers and that is okay - even those will change lives.

**For the next two weeks I will be blogging daily, bringing you along on the journey. I hope you will choose to join me.**

Broken:: Lost:: And a Reunion

Sat, 9 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Some days every step is like walking on snowy clouds bathed in brilliant sunlight with soft angelic notes filling the air. You know your footsteps are divinely directed and all in your world seems right.

Then there are other days when it really would not be a surprise if lightening struck as you find yourself surrounded with the BOOM! and CRACK! of all in your world falling apart in pieces and raining down on you in torrential fashion.

Yesterday was not the first but thankfully it wasn't as bad as the latter.

The day began with a blanket of fluffy, white snow covering everything visible from the window and the excitement of reuniting with part of my World Race family. It was a glorious awakening.

Shortly after a piece of my beautiful blue sky was falling as I stared at a not-so-beautiful "blue screen of death" on my laptop. My poor computer has seen its fair share of these deaths, but always miraculously arises like a phoenix valiant and victorious over death. Not this time. With its restart came a revealing of the cause of death. There was a corrupt or missing vital organ - a Windows system file.

Not the way to begin a two week leadership initiative that finds you placed in charge of PR and blogging.

Nonetheless, the day marched on and as more World Race family arrived in Gainesville the air was charged with excitement and anticipation. The morning's stress melted away as we held the official first ever meeting of Project Searchlight. Adding to this joy was the revealing of my group, two of my favorite people - Kim Hillebrand and Jennifer Denman. Perfection!

As the meeting adjourned there were small rumbles of thunder in the distance of my world as I quickly became aware that my keys were nowhere to be found.

Hurried and frantic, I grabbed what little I had with me and, throwing myself in Teri's car, hot, frustrated tears filled my eyes and spilled over onto my cheeks. I tried my best to force it into the recesses of my mind as we headed out to set up our headquarters for the two weeks and then on to the Hylton's (our host family) for a party.

The day ended with a mix of great frustration and yet great relief.

Finally as I reflected on the day I determined that if day one of Project Searchlight brought this much frustration I must be here for a reason.

The next two weeks promises to be filled with dreaming, planning and community. It will be intense and focused and I expect to leave having found my voice and how to use it.

Please keep us in your prayers as we dialogue about world needs, passions, dreams, and how to walk those out practically. It is the kind of things that scares the enemy.

As a last note....
The keys were located late this afternoon. The culprit: a burgundy, key-eating office chair.
Sadly, the laptop refuses to be resurrected.

Crossroads on the desolate path

Tue, 5 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Hot, salty tears poured down my cheeks as I entered the terminal for the last leg of my journey home. The moment I stepped past the last security checkpoint it hit me. I was alone. Completely alone. It was odd. It was nerve-wrecking. I didn't like it AT ALL!

On the Race even when you are zipped in your tent you know there is always someone within a few feet, you can probably hear them snoring. You're never really alone.

A few weeks ago I was left at my home in Georgia completely alone. It was odd. It was nerve-wrecking. I didn't like it AT ALL! That night I fell asleep with stinging tears in my eyes, just wanting a friend instead of a big empty house. I promptly found lodging elsewhere for my remaining stay.

I came home to a world that is oddly familiar yet distinctly different. Things are as they always were except people have passed on, some have moved on, and even most of my friends are dating, engaged or married. Seems a lot happened in one year.

About a dozen times a day I vacillate between just wanting to be near people and wishing everyone would leave me alone, but alone is the one thing I've had in too huge a dose (other than sugar). It is just that it seems when I am around people as I try to sort through the memories and stories to tell, while editing it in my head to create a captivating prose, it all comes out jumbled and leaves me frustrated.

Tonight as I walked around Target the young adults who were being ridiculous and loud were grating on my nerves until I realized it was only because that was how I would rather be enjoying my time.

There were once dreams of living in a log cabin, in the forest, alone with just a cat for company, nicely tucked away and safe from the world and those strange creatures we call people. "I don't like kids. I don't like teens. I don't like adults. Basically I don't like people" That is what I once said. I sincerely meant every word.

It seems the truth is I like people. A LOT! It hurts to love and let go, hoping they will cross your path again, but never quite certain. It is heart-breaking to see the way some people are forced to live and the way some people choose to live.

But then to not care and to not love based merely on the safety of one's heart is quite the selfish existence, and lonely too.

While it has been hard to return to a consumer-based society with no money and no job prospects, the biggest struggle has been the loneliness as I warm the rocking chair day in and day out trying to make sense of the blank canvas before me.

So at the end of the week I will head to Gainesville, GA to spend a few weeks at Project Searchlight to try to make heads or tails of the things I feel passionate about. I am not sure what I hope to gain from my time there honestly. All I know is I returned with strong sense of urgency for us as the body of Christ to know our identity in Him and walk it out. To me it seems such a small thing and yet impossibly large all at once.Maybe I just hope to have a clue about where to go from here.

::Losing Rose-Colored Glasses::Gaining Perspective::

Sat, 2 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Most of us romanticize about the spaces we currently do not occupy. I suppose the cliche way to say it is that to silly sheep like us the grass looks a whole lot more satisfying over there.

In Haiti as the supply of food dwindled, even though appetites did not, there were dreams of mouth-watering, home-cooked food.

As dust swirled around and settled on every surface in the bush of Africa there were dreams of the hot showers and washing machines of home.

As sweat poured from every pore and the sun beat down mercilessly in Asia there were dreams of our air-conditioned American homes.

As we piled into marshrutkas and the Metro, smashed like sardines, unable to move and barely able to breathe, in Ukraine there were dreams of driving around town with a coffee in one hand, music turned up, windows rolled down and absolutely no one else in the vehicle.

Home, sweet, home.

As the days stretch before me numbingly absent of human interaction, seemingly without purpose, and filled with all the things longed for in eleven months overseas there are dreams of those places around the world... and from here even the worst moments do not look quite so bad.

Haiti also brought days of laughter, smiles and hugs followed by nights of proclamation and worship with orphans.

In the dust and dirt of Africa were precious ones who danced as hard as they labored and families in need of the hope we knew and brought.

There was respite from the sun, if not the heat, in Asia at night, where Kingdom came in red light districts and along streets lined with beggars young and old.

The torture of public transport now seems nothing to endure compared to spending time with the university students and learning of their hopes and fears in large, unfriendly city that captured my heart.

World, sweet, world.

For hours my presence has warmed the burgundy rocker reliving memories of this year, mourning a loss of something not fully explainable.

Wandering the mall a few days ago, watching people carry huge bags while walking determinedly to their next destination and spouting information into cell phones, my mind strolled down the thought avenue of "what if". What if all the malls took one day's profits, just one, out of the year and put it towards ending poverty? It would be a start at least. I find my mind takes a walk through the "what if" corridor a lot more often lately.

The draw to live beyond the normal status quo, to impact the world and see the Kingdom of God operating on earth as in heaven seems some days to be a rather weighty matter and then some days it just comes natural. Here, at this point in time, it just doesn't seem to come natural or easy, but then I am certain God never promised it would.

The truth is it isn't about being here or there because we are children of God no matter location. We have everything needed to bring light to dark recesses and proclaim the Kingdom but do we recognize that? We should be content wherever He sends us, humbled that He would desire to use us and so in love with Him and those who need Him that we will go anywhere and do anything... even if that place is back home for a little while.

And as I consider it maybe being here isn't so bad.

Lord, help me be content wherever you have me and in whatever circumstances, looking to You alone and walking with my Spirit tuned into You so that truly where You go I'll go, what You say I'll say, and what You pray I'll pray.

Little Warrior

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Joshua literally means "God is my salvation." We know him from the Bible as a man of God serving the leadership of Moses and then himself leading the tribes of Israel victoriously into the Promised Land, supervising the division of the tribes' inheritance once there, and bringing the people to a renewal of their covenant with God.

He's a mighty warrior in the natural world, as well as in the spiritual realm.

The Joshua I know is a small child in an orphanage in Phnom Penh, Cambodia with deep brown, expressive eyes and beautiful smile that appears just before another round of infectious laughter.

Another mighty warrior.

This little one arrived on the steps of Love in Action (LIA) in the arms of an unknown man delivering him from a brothel just down the road where his mother was a prostitute. According to the workers at LIA little Joshua was bruised, malnourished and had "such bad thrush in his mouth he could not keep in a bottle". He literally had to fight for his life.

When we were there in March 2009 he was the happiest baby you have ever seen and we instantly fell in love.

Joshua, a name implying great faith in God and a leader to the people. That is what I trust this little one will grow up to be, a man of God serving the nation of Cambodia and leading his people to Christ.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:9